IF YOU’RE IN MY ARMS AGAIN”
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“C’mon James! Bilisan mo naman!” sigaw ko at mas lalo ko pang binilisan ang pagpe-pedal.
Nandito kami ngayon sa beachside. Palagi kaming pumupunta ni James dito tuwing hapon para mamasyal at para masaksihan ang paglubog ng araw na pareho naming paboritong pagmasdan.
“Faye teka lang hinahapo na ako eh!” sigaw ni James mula sa likuran at huminto na nga ako sa pag pedal. I turned my head back at him and there, I found him catching his breath already.
“Oh ito tubig, uminom ka muna. Let’s just rest for a while.” I gave him one bottled water as we sat on the bench.
“Thank you babe!” He smiled.
Aaminin ko na gwapo talaga si James. I don’t know why he chose me among the others. Hindi naman ako kagandahan, hindi rin gan’on kayaman pero ako pa rin ang pinili niya.
He’s handsome, caring, loving, thoughtful, he’s rich and he almost got every good thing. In short, he is perfect. Kaya minsan hindi ko rin maiwasang hindi maisip kung bakit ako ang pinili niya.
In five years of us being in a relationship, I haven’t asked him why did he chose me among those girls who’s crazy in love with him. So I think this is the perfect moment I should ask him about it.
“J-James bakit ako?!” I mumbled and looked at him straight. His brows frowned because of my question.
“I mean… Marami namang iba d’yan? Marami namang maganda d’yan pero bakit ako?” muli kong tanong.
“Luhh ipinamimigay mo na ako?!” He asked while pouting. I playfully hit him using the bottled water I’m holding on.
“Baliw ka! Ang sabi ko bakit ako?! May sinabi ba akong ipamimigay kita ha? Ihagis kita sa mars eh!” I elucidate while my brows rised.
“Yes I’m crazy. Crazy in love with you.” He’s so cheesy but I can’t deny to myself that it’s one of his traits that made me fall inlove with him.
“What made you think about that huh?” pabalik na tanong niya sa ‘kin bakas ng pagtataka.
“Ugh! Forget about it!” I rolled my eyes and diverted my focus from a far.
“Luhh tampo agad? HAHAHAH. Gusto mo talaga malaman kung bakit ikaw ang pinili ko of all the girls na humahabol at nagpapansin sa ‘kin?” He asked me with confidence.
“Faye… Minahal kita, mahal kita at patuloy kitang mamahalin hindi dahil sa panlabas mong anyo. Minahal kita dahil sa mga katangian mo na hindi ko nakita sa iba. In fact, you’re beautiful inside and out. Who said that you’re not? You know what… My parents told me that I should grab the oppurtunity once it’s on my plate already.” He bantered me while holding my hands but it caused my cheeks to blush.
I can’t help myself but to stare at him while saying those words.
“You’ll always be the reason why I wanted to live longer Faye. To live longer with you together with our kids in the future. You’re my life, you’re my everything.” He didn’t stop there because he did not just made my cheeks blush. He also made my heart melt after hearing those from him.
“Totoo ba ‘yan ha?! Baka ini-echos mo lang ako? Naku, ipapasako talaga kita!” I turned my head back at him.
“Naman!” He insisted.
“Really?” I muttered and moved closer to him as he let my head rest on his shoulders.
“I love you babe!” He responded together with a kiss on my forehead.
Makalipas ang ilang oras ay bigla na lang ako nagulat nang biglang sumigaw si James.
“A-ah aray! Ang sakit ng tuhod ko!” I saw him in pain as he suddenly kneeled on the ground.
“Hoy?! Ano’ng nangyare sa ‘yo? Are you okay?” I’m already panicking because I don’t know what to do anymore.
In the midst of me being so panick, he grabbed something in his pocket as he showed me a small red box. He opened it and there, I found a ring inside it.
“What’s the meaning of this James? Parang baliw ‘to! Tumayo ka nga d’yan!” I’m trying to lift him up because everyone is looking on us already.
He cleared...

his throat and he starts to utter words.
“Ayoko nang patagalin pa ‘to Faye. I’m pretty sure that this is the perfect moment to do this. We’ve already been in a relationship for almost five years already and in that five years… I’m already sure that you’re the bride meant for me.” He said and I saw tears stuck on his eyes.
In that moment, I felt like I’m on a cloud nine that caused me not to utter even a single word.
“Ms. Faye Santibanez, will you be my Mrs. Faye Santiago?.. Will you m—” I didn’t let him finish what he wants to address as I immediately answered him with a yes.
He put the ring on my finger and it perfectly fits on it. He gave me his warm hug together with a passionate kiss.
“She said YES! She said YES!” He shouted and jumped repeatedly with too much joy traced on his face.
“Hoy tumahimik ka nga!” I hit him once again.
But all of a sudden, people around us are already screaming and running back and forth. But that’s not because of us, it’s because of the gunman who’s shooting the gun everywhere in the area.
“James let’s go!” I grabbed his hands and turned my attention back at him. But my eyes widened because of what I found out. James got shot by the gunman.
I tend to get rid of this place but I couldn’t. My both feet were froze the moment I saw James showering on his own blood already.
“James please don’t close your eyes! I’m begging you!” My tears dropped from my eyes while caressing him.
“I love you Faye…” He stuttered.
“NO! James! NO, NO, NOOO!” I shouted until I wake up from a bad nightmare.
“Faye! Anak, binabangungot ka nanaman?!” I heard someone suddenly spoke beside me.
“He said that he will be marrying me! How could be this world so unfair! Bakit pa sa ‘kin kinuha ‘yung tanging lalaking tumanggap at nagmahal sa ‘kin ng totoo?!” Tears burned my eyes as memories flashing on my mind.
“Yes, I know that it’s hard darling… But we have to accept the reality that time and destiny isn’t in our own hands. So wiped out your tears. Do you think that James would be happy seeing you like this?” She tried to make me feel comfort somehow.
But I can’t lie to myself. I can’t just admit that I lost the man I love in just a snap.
Yes, James is now gone. He died six months ago because of an accident, but it feels like it just happened yesterday. I felt guilty about what happened to him.
We had an argument the night before the accident happened. I was crossing the street unconciously that time, I heard a car blowing its horn continuously. I can’t even have a single step because my both feet got froze.
I thought it would be my end because the blinding light coming from the car is already coming nearer, not until someone pushed me from the back that caused me to move forward.
I fell on the ground as I turned my head back. It was James who pushed me. I tried to save him but it’s too late.
It should be me and not him. I should be the one hit by the car only if he didn’t pushed me to save my life. It’s all because of me. It’s all my fault.
Yes, it’s been six months already, but it feels like it just happened yesterday. The time might heal the wounds brought by the incident, but the scars will just remain. And that scar will just kept on reminding and reminding me about what happened.
I’am now like a puzzle with a missing piece. A book without a title. I felt like I’m a living dead. I lost my light. I lost my world. And now, I don’t know how I can fix myself.
If only I could turn back time, I will let him feel how much I love him.
And if his in my arms again, I won’t let him go.
I won’t.
—Wolf Amadeo