LOVE BETWEEN 9 YEARS AGE GAP”
By: Marinella
(I’m too young for him and he’s too old for me.)
I’m 14 and he was 23 when I met him, Noro a friend of my brother. Pa minsan minsan ay pumupunta sya sa bahay, sila ng mga kaibigan ni kuya. Masayahin syang tao, palabiro at pala ngiti. Minsan ko na syang nakausap ng mang hiram sya ng laptop sa akin.
Oo, crush ko sya, bukod kase sa makulit eh, maitsura din sya. Tahimik akong tao, kaya naman wala siyang idea na gusto ko sya. Months past, akala ko ay mawawala ang pagkakagusto ko sa kanya pero mali ako. I fell for him even deeper. Palagi ko na syang ini-stalk, checking his status on fb. Palagi kong tiningnan ang mga posts nya. Palagi ko rin syang pasimple na kinukunan ng picture.
One time I saw him on a restaurant, tuwang tuwa ako dahil pwede ko syang makausap ng kaming dalawa lang. Lalapit sana ako ng mapansin ko ang todong pag ngiti nito habang lumalapit ang isang babae. Maganda sya, sexy at elegante, she’s just about his age. Nakita ko na sya noon at magkaklase rin sila. That girl, her name’s Anne.
Kumirot ang dibdib ko ng halikan nya ito sa pisngi. Kusang tumulo ang luha ko, at unti unting humikbi. Naglakad ako palayo habang sapo sapo ang aking dibdib.
Gustong gusto ko sya— ay hindi. Mahal ko na sya.
Alam kong 14 years old palang ako, pero it doesn’t matter. What matters the most is my feelings for him. I’m about to confess my love but I think hanggang dito na lang yon. I can’t take anymore steps especially now that I saw how sweet they are.
I stop stalking his facebook account but I’m still seeing his posts about his girl. He tagged her in a sweet post. He post their photos together.
I’m so done with this one sided love that’s why I decided to unfriend him on social media.
Tinanong nya ako about doon ng minsan syang mapagawi sa bahay.
“Why did you unfriend me?”
Shrugging my shoulder and held myself from crying I answered, “ I’ve reached the limit of my friends list on my Facebook account. Nag unfriend ako and I didn’t noticed na I unfriended you.”
Tumango lang sya after he heard what I said. After ng pag usap namin ay hindi na iyon naulit pa.
Years passed, I was 16 and he’s already 25. Nagtatrabaho na sya as a manager sa isang restaurant. He inherited his parents restaurant. Total naman ay isa syang Chef, it’s easy for him to managed the resto.
He and Anne broke up, hindi malinaw ang rason but I heard that Noro love another girl. Anne was so mad because she found out that they are in a relationship while Noro is inlove with these unknown girl.
Now he’s single, may part sa’kin na tuwang tuwa. Hoping that he will notice me now that he’s single.
It’s been two years and still— here I am. Here I am loving him secretly. Akala ko kapag iniwasan kong maalala sya ay makakalimot ako, but no. Mas lalo akong na-inlove sa kanya. Lalo pa ng mabanggit sa akin ni kuya na paminsan minsan ay kinakamusta ako nito.
But then again, I lose hope. I heard he’s leaving the country— for good. Hindi ko na alam kung kailan sya babalik.
Nilakasan ko ang loob ko at kinausap ko sya.
“Why are you leaving?”
He sit there, sipping his brewed coffee while I’m waiting for his answer.
“I wanted to start a new life.”
Not knowing what he mean, I asked again.
“Are you not happy in what you’re in, right now?”
Minutes pass, I’m tapping my finger in the table making a noise in this quiet restaurant. It’s already 10 in the evening at wala na silang costumer.
Breathing heavily, he nodded. Hindi na ako muling nagtanong pa. So he’s leaving, and that means wala na talagang pag asa na maamin ko sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko.
Standing up, I’m about to leave when he walks out with me.
“I’ll take you home.” he simply said while opening the glass door for me.
I stayed quiet the whole ride until we reach our house.
“Thanks for the ride.” I smiled leaving him inside the car. I’m hurting inside and staying a bit longer with him didn’t help me at all.
Waving a goodbye he start the engine. Tumalikod na ako upang pumasok sa loob ng marinig ko ang biglang pagbukas sara ng pinto ng kotse.
“Marie!”
Looking back I saw him make his way to me.
He suddenly grab my neck and kiss me. He softly grab my waist, pulling me close. Nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa labis na pagkagulat.
He kissed me..
Not wanting to let go, I grab his nape ang pulled him close. I closed my eyes as I felt his tounge making it’s way inside my mouth. He moaned as I pulled his hair out of so much desire.
After that long kiss he moved his face away from me.
“Goodbye Marie, I hope you find the man who will love you as much as how you loved me.”
That’s what he said before placing a soft kiss in my forehead. He then start making his way to his car, starting the engine...

and leaving me there.
What the hell did just happened?
And what?! He knows my feelings for him?
“You’re making it hard for me Noro” I whispered.
I cried there sitting in the cold ground.
He just kissed me goodbye. How am I supposed to get over this one sided love if he— he’s making me hope for nothing.
Days passed, he already left. He left me hanging here— questions still not answered.
I already miss him and it hurts like hell.
Minsan tinatanong ko ang sarili ko.
Bakit nya ako hinalikan?
Bakit pakiramdam ko gusto nya rin ako?
Bakit? Bakit sya umalis?
At kailan nya pa alam na mahal ko sya?
Halos mabaliw ako sa kakaisip until now. Now that I’m already 21, I’m a college student. It’s been 5 fucking years and here I am— waiting for that asshole.
Dahil sa halik na iyon mas lalong tumindi ang feelings ko for him. I didn’t get into any relationships, hindi ko kayang makipag relasyon lalo na at alam kong mahal ko si Noro.
It’s been five years and hindi nya ako kinakausap. He would talk with my brother but not with me. Iniiwasan nya ako at ramdam ko iyon.
—
“Marieeeee!”
Napa sabunot ako dahil sa ingay ng kuya ko. Kasalukuyan akong nagpapahinga matapos ang deadly exam namin. We have 2 weeks academic break and I’m still planning where to go.
“Let’s go in Palawan!”
—
So that’s it, here we are in Palawan. Great! Just Great. Andito buong family namin and alam kong mag eenjoy kami.
Nakarating na kami sa rest house namin at laking gulat ko na lang na andun sina tita— Noro’s Parents. So if they are here, there’s a possibility that he’s here too.
Hinanap ng mata ko si Noro but I couldn’t find him. Feeling down I start walking.
“Ma, punta na po ako sa kwarto ko.” I said and make my way to my old room. Haystt it’s been a years nung last punta ko dito, I think 15 pa lang ako noon.
Malinis ang kwarto ko at dahil don ay nakatulog ako ng mahiga ako sa kama.
Nagising na lang ako ng makaramdam ako ng gutom. Making my way downstairs, I headed to the kitchen.
Hindi ako makagalaw when I saw a figure, sitting in the chair, facing his back at me.
His broad shoulder and the way he sit looks just like the man I’ve been loving for 7 years.
“Noro” I mumbled his name, napatingin siya sa akin.
“Hi”
Ilang minuto akong hindi nakapag salita. Nakatayo lang ako roon habang sya ay nagkakamot ng batok. He changed a lot, naging matured na ang itsura nya but he still look handsome. Kumabog ang dibdib ko ng ngumiti ito.
“You didn’t eat your dinner that’s why I waited for you to wake up.”
He stand and walk to the burner.
“ I’ll heat up the food for you. Or baka gusto mong ipagluto kita? Ahm what do you want? How about your favorite chicken adobo? Spaghetti? Oh how about the lumpiang shanghai? I know you love those.”
Nagsimulang tumulo ang luha ko. His eyes soften when he heard me sob. Sobrang sakit ng puso ko. Kung umasta sya parang wala lang sa kanya yung mga nangyare. He played with my feelings, alam pala nya na mahal ko sya pero ni hindi manlang nya sinabi sa akin.
“I hate you” that’s first words I said. Akma na akong aalis ng hawakan nya ang braso ko.
“I’m so sorry Marie, I don’t have choice. Nung nalaman kong mahal mo ako, natakot ako. You’re too young for me, lalo pa nong 14 ka pa lang at 23 na ako.”
I bitterly laugh.
“ HAHAHA so you already knew what I feel since I was 14? Ibig bang sabihin non alam mo noon pa?”
I vigorously shake my head.
No no!
“ I can’t do anything, your father talked to me.”
Napatitig ako sa kanya.
“I told him that I’m inlove with you.”
Sandali akong tumahamik. A-ano daw?
“I waited for this chance Marie, I waited til’ you turned 18, so that I can Court you. Pero masyado akong natakot noon, and now you’re 21. I’m sorry kung ngayon ko lang nasabi sa’yo ang nararamdaman ko.”
“Noro…”
That’s the only word I can utter right now.
“Marie I love you. I love you since the first time I talked to you.”
“I did everything to avoid you. Ayokong masira ang tiwala sa akin ng papa mo. Ayoko na masira ang plano nila para sa’yo— para sa atin.”
Then it sinks in. . .
I cried hard and embrace him. I run into his arms and hug him tighter. Oh my God! He love me.
All my tears are worth it.
All of my doubts and questions we’re answered.
It’s my Papa’s plan all along. Noro made an agreement with my papa. They want us to be together when I’m old enough to handle life as an adult.
I’m 21 he’s 30.
He’s too old for me and I’m too young for him.
Wala namang pinipili ang pag ibig.
Wala iyon sa itsura, sa status sa buhay, wala sa tagal ng pagsasama at lalong wala iyon sa edad.
Age doesn’t matter when it comes to love. Age is just a number kung talagang mahal nyo ang isa’t isa.
— END