YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MY HOME
“Overthinking again?” I looked at the man who seated beside me, my man actually.
“Sorry, if you see me like this again, I just can’t stop it. I’m sorry,” I said and wiped my tears.
“Hush! It’s okay, I’m here. You can cry on my shoulder.”
I can’t stop it anymore. There, I cried in his broad shoulder.
Why can’t I just stop myself from overthinking? It’s too hard pero alam kong mas mahirap para sa kan’ya.
Minsan naiisip ko na paano kung nagsawa na siya sa’kin? Paano kung pagod na pala siya? Paano kung ewan niya ako? Dàmn! I hate my mind, I hate myself.
“Stop thinking to much, ‘kay?” Pag-aalo pa nito sa’kin.
“Hindi ka ba nagsasawa sa’kin? I mean, I’m always like this. Lagi nalang akong umiiyak sa’yo, laging sarili ko nalang ang iniisip ko, ni hindi nanga kita mabigyan ng time e. You have the right to leave me but why didn’t you do it?”
He held my hand and kissed my forehead.
“I love you and I guess that’s enough reason to stay, right? Mahal kita kaya hindi kita iiwan. Oo, aaminin kung napapagod na din ako but baby, you’re my home. Kung ako ang pahinga mo gano’n din ako sa’yo. Hinding-hindi ako mapapagod sa’yo. If you stay then I’ll stay. I love you.”
Oh God! What did I do to you to gave me this kind of man. A man who understand me, a man who accept my flaws and imperfections.
“Thank you, Vince. Thank you and I love you,” He smiled at me, ngiting nakagagaan ng loob.
“C’mon here, I brought some foods. Kumain nalang tayo at tigilan mo na ang pag-iisip ng kung ano-ano.” I nodded and follow him.
…
“Vince, remember this photo?...

Ito ‘yung last picture natin sa palawan bago tayo umalis.” He nodded and put his arms around me.
“Yeah! I still remember how you poked me with the lobster,” I pouted, it’s his fault.
“Tss, it’s your fault. You teased me that’s why,” He laughed and I wish I could hear those laugh forever.
“Asar talo ka kasi,” Sumandal ako sa balikat nito.
I gave him the photo and stare at the sky. We’re here at the balcony watching how beautiful the night is. Ang daming star tapos ang ganda pa ng buwan. What a perfect view.
“Ang dami nating memories na binuo do’n and I wish I can go back there bur I know it’s too impossible to happen.”
Tumingin ako sa kan’ya pero ngumiti lang siya sa’kin, I know he’s hurt.
“Javier, we can build another memories kung magpapagaling kalang. Pwede tayo ulit bumalik do’n after mong gumaling.” I know his trying to convince me but I can’t fight it anymore.
Umiling-iling ako dito, I know to myself that I can’t stay here any longer. I have a leukemia and it’s stage four. We tried so many therapist but it only get worst.
I wanted to fight, gusto ko pang mabuhay pero anong magagawa ko kung katawan kona mismo ang sumusuko.
“Vince, pwede na ba akong magpahinga?” I can see the pain in his eyes, unti-unting siyang tumango kasabay ang pagtulo ng mga luha nito.
“Do you really wanna rest?” I nodded and held his hand.
“Keep this photo, okay? Always remember that you’re my home, you’re my tahanan. Sa’yo at sa’yo parin ako magpapahinga.” I said and kissed him, for the last time.
“Rest now, MI Amore.” The last words I heard before death takes me.
—MAGPAPAHINGA KA NGA NGUNIT TULOYAN KA NAMANG MAWAWALA.